


i'd love it if we made it

by 991102



Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, bet you thought you saw the last of me and this au, i mnet evil edited the fuck out of minhyun and dongho and i would like to say sorry, idol! niel and figure skater! ong but haha!!!!!! they don't do any of that like at all, surprise it is again!!! the big ole compilation of written updates to my au!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 19:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/991102/pseuds/991102
Summary: among other things, this is simple math1+1=2





	i'd love it if we made it

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone^~^ just me passing by and posting the written bits of an old au!!!! i made an attempt at adding a couple of texts for Context but . well . attempt. this will obviously not read as smoothly as a normal fic but i hope that it's still. okay. if you want to read the whole au in it's entirety!!!!! you can find it on my twitter!!!!! @ongdromeda 
> 
> this is pretty old writing? almost a year old whew hehe and it's not. really edited. plz go easy on me... i know it's not the most mind blowing writing :B i hope you enjoy reading it nonetheless^~^

**_seongwu_ **

you coming or not

 

french fries and smoothies

 

**_spidey_ **

and here i thought you were concerned about me getting into trouble 

 

**_seongwu_ **

i can’t hear you over the smoothies screaming my name

 

_ location _

 

**_spidey_ **

eager are we

 

**_seongwu_ **

don’t take too long spidey

 

**_spidey_ **

look pretty for me

 

+

 

seongwu chooses a small smoothie shack ran by an old friend—someone he can trust not to use his fame for easy money. by habit though, seongwu chose a secluded area in the corner of the store and daniel had followed with little hesitation. 

 

the  _ hangout _ —seongwu would rather die than acknowledge it as a date—had gone as any other would; awkward “hi i’m”s and “it’s nice to meet you”s, banter back and forth, sudden lapses in conversations, and the like.

 

but seongwu is (unfortunately, maybe) enjoying himself, and though he hasn’t really thought much about it, he hasn’t thought much at all really, he just knows that it’s kind of nice to be with daniel. of course, other than the fact that the younger would probably laugh at the drop of a hat. on any other day, seongwu would revel in the fact that his jokes are well received, but, for some reason, daniel’s unceasing laughter irks him. 

 

(seongwu refuses to admit it’s because daniel’s smile has him swooning)

 

seongwu stows his phone away just as daniel slides back into his side of the booth, all grins and unruly dirty blonde hair. 

 

daniel looks at him expectantly, the excitement of a child dripping from his eyes, and seongwu makes a face, a mix of suspicion and curiosity taking hold over his features. he draws his brows together, “do you ever stop smiling?” 

 

“when I’m given a good reason to.” the younger shrugs; and his bright smile, to seongwu’s dismay, grows wider as he sets seongwu with a curious stare. seongwu thinks looking at daniel’s smile is similar to staring into the sun; annoying, and staring too long would make him prone to going blind, but he can’t actually bring himself to look away. daniel bites at his straw, peach smoothie long gone, “why? want me to stop?” 

 

“yes.” seongwu nods, wrinkling his nose, “I think you smile too much. I’m concerned for your sanity.” 

 

the almost immediate slight faltering of daniel’s smile almost makes seongwu feel bad. almost. but then it returns to its original intensity, and seongwu is back to craving death. 

 

daniel snickers, face scrunching up ‘til he resembles some kind of dog; a pug maybe. seongwu sighs, propping his elbows up on the table and sipping on what’s left of his own smoothie until the younger’s dorky laughter dies down. 

 

he looks like he’s about to start laughing again, but he bites down on his bottom lip and hurriedly cools his face into a stern stare. the neutral, almost grave look on daniel’s face almost makes him look like he’s in pain, and it’s taking far more effort than is necessary for a normal person. 

 

seongwu bites back his own grin, “are you done?” 

 

daniel gives a curt nod, voice deliberately deep and emotionless when he affirms, “sir, yes sir.”

 

the blonde’s act makes seongwu snort, cracking a grin when daniel only looks on with a blank look. 

 

seongwu’s always been a sucker for dumb antics, and daniel definitely falls under the dumb category. seongwu gestures at daniel’s unnatural stoic expression, lips still stretched into an amused smile, “stop doing that with your face.”

 

the younger nods again, and he even mock salutes, “sir, yes sir.” and as if magic, daniel’s face slips back into its default curious puppy look without a single delay. 

 

the absurdity of it all draws out seongwu’s laughter, complete and free. it starts out in short chuckles and tiny smiles, and it grows into loud, hearty laughter; all crinkled eyes and wide grins. it’s laughter that makes his shoulders shake and leaves him gasping for air by the time he’s calmed down.

 

when his laughter subsides, seongwu slumps against his booth, a lax smile tilting his lips and across from him, daniel stares at him with this odd, far off look in his eyes. there’s a cloud of wonder washed over the dark brown of the blonde’s eyes that makes seongwu ponder what he’s done; there’s a tiny flicker of happiness that seongwu hopes will never be extinguished; there’s this  _ something _ , this inexplicable glimmer of  _ something _ , that makes seongwu’s breath hitch just the slightest. 

 

when the younger finally finds it time to speak, his voice is lowered, but it doesn’t seem to be on purpose. it’s almost like he’s been compelled to speak in a hushed voice. the intimacy of the action is almost nerve wracking, but seongwu finds himself leaning in to catch the words slipping from daniel’s lips before he can think to do otherwise. 

 

“your laugh is nice,” daniel grins again, teasing, but it’s soft around the edges; just barely there, but as bright as ever. “though now it’s I who fears for your sanity.”

 

seongwu hasn’t laughed like that in a long time, and he only now realizes how much he misses  _ this _ ; being so carefree, smiling when he wants to smile, laughing when he wants to laugh, living how he wants to live. 

 

a part of him knows that it’s dangerous to miss whatever  _ this _ is; to crave a life where the world didn’t know his every move; to want it more than he’s ever wanted anything. 

 

but another part of him is greedy, irrational, and it says that it’s okay to want; it’s okay to allow himself this tiny joy; it’s okay to indulge in whatever this blonde boy with a gorgeous smile is willing to give him. 

 

_ it’s okay. _

 

seongwu snorts and he finishes his own smoothie, “shut up.”

 

+

 

seongwu and daniel never do end up with those french fries; more out of fear of being recognized than lack of hunger; but they _ do _ make it to the old neighborhood park, later than they had intended, maybe, but they were there nonetheless, and maybe that’s all that really matters when it comes down to it.

 

the blonde walks next to him with a little spring in his step, almost skipping as he sucks on a lollipop. it’s a bit dark now with the sun having set, but seongwu can make out daniel grinning to himself out of the corner of his eye. 

 

seongwu snorts, rolling his eyes at the blonde’s eternal happiness, “are you seriously that happy to be out here?” 

 

daniel nods, hopping in front of seongwu as he grins his way through his words; seongwu’s starting to think daniel’s been smiling for the entirety of the day just to spite him. “I am  _ very _ happy! I don’t get many days off, and I’m not exactly allowed to go out by myself either… I’m always happy to do normal things like this.” daniel grows docile after that, a wave of silence washing over his features as he stills, the corners of his lips drooping in a sad half-pout. 

 

seongwu arches a brow, startled by the sudden dip in mood, and he eyes daniel carefully, willing the gloomy cloud hanging above the younger’s head to go away. seongwu doesn’t really know why he does; it’s almost like a natural instinct. if you come across a kicked puppy, isn’t it your duty to comfort it? 

 

but daniel’s grin is back again in an instant, and if seongwu weren’t paying such close attention to him, he probably wouldn’t have noticed a difference. 

 

(good thing seongwu’s eyes haven’t strayed far from daniel since the moment they met)

 

it takes seongwu a second to decipher daniel’s words, but when he does, it’s in one sweeping moment of understanding that seongwu’s heart drops, falling to the pavement with a thud. 

 

normal things. 

 

that’s right. 

 

daniel isn’t a normal 20-something year old.

 

he can’t do things that you could do on any day like go out for a smoothie with a friend or grab some fries or go to the park. 

 

how could seongwu forget that? 

 

seongwu decides it was just too easy to allow himself to forget things about daniel; to just go along with what daniel is willing to offer him at the moment; to forget about who he is and who daniel is; to just be seongwu and daniel and not ong seongwu, the king of the ice, and kang daniel, the nation’s center. 

 

it’s dangerous to forget. 

 

seongwu takes a look at the blonde (he hadn’t looked away, but still), and he wonders if it was the heavens or the devil who brought him into his life. 

 

seongwu wonders if he should stay around long enough to find out. 

 

+

 

it’s in the days that pass that seongwu decides yes, he will stick around for a little longer. 

 

he hopes daniel doesn’t mind.

 

+

 

**_seongwu_ **

can you come over

 

it’s alright if you can’t

 

**_spidey_ **

i’m on my way

 

do you want some ice cream

 

**_seongwu_ **

no i just want you

 

+

 

_ i just want you.  _

 

daniel almost jumps for joy just thinking about it. 

 

he had bolted out of the dorm as quickly as he could without a second moment of contemplation, throwing on a day-old hoodie and tip toeing out the door at the speed of light. as much trouble as he’d get into if the managers ever found out about him sneaking out (again) in the middle of the night, daniel couldn’t just leave seongwu alone, could he? 

 

daniel doesn’t know if seongwu knows this, but he is _ far _ more transparent than daniel first thought; granted, the first couple of times daniel talked to him, seongwu was hard to read, but now daniel is slowly finding it easier to read seongwu’s words and actions. seongwu’s texts had a certain tone that was different than usual impish vibe he had going for him; he almost sounded a little sad? pained? daniel doesn’t know for certain, but there was no way he’d let seongwu go to sleep upset; not if he could help it.

 

seongwu said no to the ice cream (in a rather heart fluttering manner if daniel has a say in this), but daniel figured he shouldn’t come empty handed… so tada! a cake! 

 

daniel chuckles to himself as he bounds down the corridor of seongwu’s apartment building; hel slows as the numbers on the doors approach 78.  _ 75… 76… 77… 78. _ daniel breathes a soft sigh as he stands before seongwu’s door. 

 

from where he is, daniel can just almost make out the melody of a pop song coming from inside seongwu’s apartment if he strains. leaning closer to the door, daniel picks up on bruno mars’ voice. 

 

_ “lucky for you that’s what I like.”  _

 

daniel snorts, rolling his eyes. he wouldn’t put it past seongwu to listen to an upbeat pop song with tears running down his face. 

 

the thought makes daniel jolt. seongwu isn’t like,  _ crying _ , is he? daniel crosses his fingers, and he prays to the high heavens above that seongwu is okay and not a mess of snot and tears. daniel isn’t particularly good at handling his own breakdowns, let alone someone else’s breakdown. with sudden urgency, he shifts his weight onto one foot and knocks on the door.

 

daniel mumbles under his breath, biting at his lip, “come on, hyung, open the door.”

 

“oh? you’re fast.” 

 

daniel startles, nearly dropping the cake in surprise. he was too focused on mumbling to himself that he hadn’t noticed the older’s approaching footsteps nor the door swinging open, seongwu’s wide eyes peeking out behind it. 

 

seongwu’s eyes are (thank god) as clear as ever, not red nor swollen, and daniel breathes a sigh of relief. daniel grins and dangles the box to seongwu’s eye level, “i brought us a cake!” 

 

the brunette snickers, eyes narrowing at the pink box and then landing on daniel’s face, flickering with mirth. he nods, “you did.” 

 

heat rises to daniel’s cheeks, and he ducks his head, confidence taking a nosedive. was the cake too much? too over the top? 

 

seongwu’s soft laughter rings then, and daniel immediately looks up at the sound, lips tilting up as he drinks in seongwu’s wide smile. the embarrassment vanishes in a second, and daniel nearly melts into a puddle of goo. 

 

daniel (finally) tears his eyes away from the older when seongwu’s chuckles die down. seongwu backs up, and he lets the door open completely. “are you going to come in or am I expected to eat the cake in the halls?” 

 

squaring his shoulders, daniel makes a face, pouting. “bossy.” 

 

seongwu lightly kicks at daniel’s shin when he passes by, but more than being annoyed or humored, daniel just feels overwhelmingly fond. is this—what did daehwi call it? is this “whipped culture”? 

 

after placing the cake box onto the small coffee table in the center of seongwu’s living room, daniel launches himself onto the couch, exhaustion catching up to him once he lands on the plush cushions. with the soft music playing from seongwu’s stereo and the cozy vibe of seongwu’s apartment, daniel thinks he could fall asleep right then and there, but alas, that’s not what he came here to do. 

 

he came here because seongwu needed him. 

 

seongwu comes bounding around the couch with two forks in hand just as daniel props himself upright. daniel rubs at his eyes and follows seongwu around the room, eyes lingering on his hands as he opens the box. seongwu jaw slackens at the sight of the cake, almost drooling, and daniel snorts, bursting into laughter when seongwu waggles his brows and shoots him a big thumbs up. 

 

daniel itches to pat himself on the back for a job well done, but he figures he’s not quite done just yet. there’s more to the whole comforting thing than just appealing to seongwu’s sweet tooth.

 

seongwu waves at him, trying to grab his attention, “aren’t you going to have some?” 

 

daniel startles from his little reverie, locking eyes with seongwu who stares at him expectantly, holding out a fork in his direction. he shakes away his thoughts, “did you think i bought that only for you?” daniel challenges, teasing smile tugging at his lips as he plops down beside seongwu on the carpet. 

 

“are you saying you wouldn’t?” seongwu counter argues, a knowing smirk on his lips, and just like that, suddenly all that daniel can think about is how fucking  _ attractive _ seongwu is. 

 

daniel stumbles over his words, completely forgetting what the conversation was about, “I—I uh…”

 

seongwu’s smirk widens into a smile, and it’s at that exact moment that daniel knows he’s goner. 

 

he’s fucked. that’s it! it’s game over. 

 

go big or go home, right? 

 

daniel cocks his head to the side, a sudden surge of confidence flowing through him, “do you want me to be honest?” at seongwu’s nod, he continues, lowering his voice to a murmur, “I don’t know the extent of what I would do for you.” 

 

the confidence leaves him a beat after the words leave his mouth, and daniel is left to shoulder through the aftermath, embarrassment and horror mixing and coloring his cheeks crimson. the only thing that could possibly console him is the fact that seongwu looks even more flustered than he does, avoiding his eyes and blushing to the tips of his ears.

 

after a minute of heavy silence (daniel didn’t know the real meaning of heavy silence before, but now that he knows, he realizes just how much he hates it), seongwu finally makes a noise. 

 

it’s a mix of a sigh, a laugh, a snort and a “hmph”, and daniel can’t exactly describe it, but it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever heard. the pure magnitude of daniel’s capacity for adoration when it comes to ong seongwu is just ridiculous at this point, and it makes daniel want to cry, or laugh, or kiss seongwu; you know, just the usual. 

 

seongwu is still avoiding his eyes, but daniel doesn’t really mind; it’s easier to shamelessly stare at seongwu when he’s not looking. 

 

daniel nudges the fork from seongwu’s grasp, careful not to let his touch linger for too long, and he dives right into the cake, taking a chunk and stuffing his face with the sweet. daniel figures it’s far safer to eat than risk proclaiming his love again or whatever, so he shovels the cake into his mouth for minutes at a time.

 

seongwu follows after his lead a moment after, taking his own bite of the cake and sighing in satisfaction. the brunette makes a show of melting, body going limp and sprawling onto the carpet. 

 

he knows seongwu takes pride in making others laugh, and though it’s clearly what he’s aiming for this time around too, daniel decides that he can’t give in to seongwu  _ that _ easily. nope! seongwu will have to work for it. laughter threatens to slip from daniel’s lips, but he bites it back, playing hard to get as he turns his eyes away. 

 

seongwu scoffs, and daniel doesn’t even have to look to know he’s probably pouting. “laugh already! I know you want to!” seongwu whines; he actually  _ whines _ . 

 

daniel braves on despite how weak he really is, stoic. he arches a brow, “why would I laugh if it’s not funny?” 

 

seongwu makes an offended noise, and he moves closer to the younger, “ _ daniel! _ ” 

 

the blonde doesn’t budge (looking back on it, daniel thinks that right there, in that moment, that was where he fucked up), and he’s hit with this sudden wave of dread. it’s a moment later when he learns of what triggered his sixth sense; it’s nothing much really, just seongwu deciding to up his game, guns blazing and charm on full blast.

 

no biggie! daniel can handle it! 

 

daniel stubbornly looks away, craning his neck the other way, but seongwu is quick to take a hold of daniel’s chin, forcing the younger to look at him. 

 

without a choice, daniel locks eyes with seongwu, and  _ surprise _ ! daniel really cannot handle it! 

 

looking at seongwu is two things; one, his favorite hobby and two, the cause of his early death. 

 

seongwu is  _ pouting _ , pink lips pursed (and oh so kissable— _ what?  _ who said that), and as if that’s not enough to melt daniel’s heart, the brunette is peering up at him through long, dark eyelashes, chocolate brown eyes sparkling and glittering like a damned disco ball. 

 

long story short, daniel doesn’t think he’s ever seen a sight more breathtaking. 

 

there’s really not much daniel can do other than laugh (and gay panic), so that’s exactly what he does. 

 

nervous laughter rakes through daniel’s body, making his entire frame tremble, and he laughs until he can’t breathe, hand clutching at his stomach. 

 

seongwu grins, eyes shining with pride. he’s completely oblivious to what actually happened, and that makes daniel laugh harder. “see? that wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

 

by the time daniel’s laughter dies down, a blanket of serenity has laid itself snug over seongwu’s apartment. daniel doesn’t know if it’s due to the fact that it’s past midnight, or if it’s just seongwu’s presence that’s lulled him into such a calm state, but he’s more at ease now than he has felt in a long, long time. 

 

the blonde wonders if he’s starting to get a bit  _ too _ comfortable around seongwu if his posture is anything to go by; shoulders slackened and manspreading to the gods. if he had any shame, daniel would close his legs and maybe take up a bit less space on seongwu’s sofa, but, at the moment, he’s at peace how he is.

 

seongwu appears to share the same sentiments; he has the cake box set on his lap, and he works his way through it in silence, cheeks puffed out as he takes his time with each bite. 

 

daniel hides his fond smile behind a generous bite of cake. 

 

the room is quiet save for their slow breathing and the occasional clash of their forks. they simply float in each other’s orbits for what feels like both an eternity and a mere second before seongwu breaks the silence. 

 

seongwu cocks his head to the side, peering at daniel through messy bangs. “so are you going to ask me why i asked you to come over, or will you force me to bring it up amidst casual conversation?” 

 

the corner of daniel’s lips quirk up at seongwu’s question. daniel was certainly aware of how bold seongwu could be, but despite that, seongwu never failed to surprise him time and time again. a grin tugs at daniel’s lips and he chuckles, “haven’t you already done the latter?” 

 

seongwu shrugs, sheepish as he scratches his head, “huh. i guess you’re right.” 

 

daniel tests his words in his head before he murmurs, “i thought about it—asking, i mean—but i didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

 

seongwu cracks a smile at that. he laughs, “ever the considerate one. thank you. for coming,” seongwu’s voice lowers with each passing word, and daniel strains slightly to pick up on what else he has to say. “and thinking about my feelings, and just being here with me. and whatever.” 

 

teasing but unbelievably fond, daniel repeats the last part under his breath, “and whatever.” he says it more to himself than to seongwu but the older hears it anyway.

 

seongwu groans, ears gone red as he looks at anything but daniel. he crosses his arms, “oh, shut up.” 

 

the two share a laugh at that, seongwu out of embarrassment and daniel out of amusement? adoration? both? daniel tilts his head back, staring up at seongwu’s ceiling as he bites back the wide smile itching to plaster itself across his face. he looks over at seongwu, tone light when he pops the question, “so? why did you want me to come over?” 

 

seongwu splutters, taking in a sharp breath as if scandalized, “you can’t ask it like that! that’s too straightforward!”  

 

daniel throws his hands up, laughing, “well then what do you want me to say?” 

 

seongwu shrugs. “i don’t know. that’s a  _ you _ problem, not a  _ me _ problem.” 

 

the blonde snorts at the older’s childish reasoning, but he caves. “okay, okay.” he thinks about it for a second, and he tries a different approach, “what’s got a nice kid like you down on such a lovely day?” 

 

seongwu bursts into laughter at that, and it’s absolute music to daniel’s ears, bouncing off the walls and wrapping itself snug around him. “first of all, it’s fucking midnight, what do you mean  _ lovely day _ ?” 

 

coming down from another fit of laughter, seongwu catches his breath, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. “and second, i’m most definitely older than you,  _ kid _ . and third, you sound like my grandpa—oh my god, niel, what the fuck?” 

 

the blonde had laughed along with seongwu, wheezing at his own words and at seongwu’s reaction, but he freezes at one particular word. 

 

_ niel.  _

 

seongwu continues to laugh and laugh, not noticing daniel’s shocked face until he’s out of breath and slumped against the sofa. seongwu’s eyes widen, and he leans in closer to the younger, head cocked to the side in curiosity like a cat. “what’s wrong?”

 

daniel scrambles to come up with a response, words falling from his lips in an indecipherable jumble. “i—i uh, you, me? i—i think? niel? i’m spidey? but you said, uh, yes? what?” 

 

seongwu’s face scrunches up in confusion, and he scratches his head, laughing, “mood.”  

 

“it’s just—you didn’t call me spidey. you said my name, or well, a nickname?” the blonde’s voice cracks a bit at the end, uncharacteristically high pitched. 

 

it dawns on seongwu then, realization coloring his cheeks red and tugging his lips into a shy smile. “oh. yeah, i suppose i did? is that okay?” 

 

daniel nods, maybe a bit too enthusiastically, but he can’t bring himself to care. he scratches his head as he says with sincerity, “it’s okay! more than okay, really. i like how my name sounds when you say it.” 

 

seongwu chokes on the bite of cake he’s just forked into his mouth, coughing loudly as he doubles over. once his coughing dies down, seongwu shoots the younger a wide eyed look. “how could you ever say something so cheesy with a straight face?” 

 

daniel shrugs, locking the embarrassment away as he slaps at seongwu’s back in concern. “i’m an idol? i make cheesy comments, and i do fanservice for a living, so i don’t really get embarrassed saying things like that. though it is kinda embarrassing when i actually mean it…” daniel fakes a cough at that, averting his eyes from seongwu’s. he mumbles, “which i did. i meant it, what i said just now.”  

 

with his eyes elsewhere, daniel misses the fond look on seongwu’s face. seongwu is half teasing and half serious when he asks, “so what you’re saying is that it’s different? when you say cheesy things to your fans?” he eggs daniel on, “it’s different from when you say them to me?” 

 

the idol locks eyes with seongwu again, and there’s a certain kind of intensity in his eyes that makes seongwu’s heart beat just a tiny bit faster. “yes.” he nods, stare wandering from seongwu’s eyes to his lips, “you are different.” 

 

“i wouldn’t doubt it,” seongwu grins, and he says the younger’s name slowly, dragging out the word and making sure he can hear him loud and clear, “niel.” 

 

the grin that plays on daniel’s lips is worth every bit of embarrassment that that tiny utterance of his name brings on. 

 

with a soft sigh, daniel sits up straighter, turning his body a bit to face seongwu. he smiles, “now that you know me as more than spidey, don’t you think it’s only fair that i get to know something about you too? i want to know you as more than the olympic gold medalist, super good looking, nation’s pride ong seongwu.” daniel’s voice softens, sincerity lacing each word. he means it, really. “i want to know you as seongwu. just seongwu.”

 

the figure skater’s lips quirk up into a small smile, but it feels out of place on his face. it lacks the impish, radiant glow that seongwu’s smile usually had, and daniel notices it immediately. seongwu eyes daniel for a moment, and he cocks his head to the side. “are you sure?” 

 

daniel’s brows draw together, “sure about what?” 

 

“are you sure you want to know me? as just me?” seongwu questions softly, tone light despite the grave connotations that lay below. “ _ just _ seongwu is not nearly as interesting or attractive as figure skater, king of the ice, seongwu is.” 

 

daniel scratches his head; he doesn’t understand what seongwu is trying to get at, and he opts to just watch seongwu for a moment, trying to read his expressions, but to no avail. he tilts his head to the side,“what?” 

 

seongwu shrugs, eyes trained on daniel’s face. he doesn’t seem to be looking at daniel, though. he looks through him, and then his eyes focus again. “i’m scared you won’t want me after you get to know me.” 

 

the idol is silent for a moment, lips pressed into a flat like as he allows the words to sink in. seongwu is clearly trying to read him, ready to interpret any change of expression, and daniel struggles to keep his face void of emotion. 

 

when daniel finally comes up with something to say, it’s just one question: “don’t you think you should at least give me the benefit of the doubt?” daniel takes a hold of seongwu’s hand and he cradles it in his, shooting seongwu a hopeful smile. “can you do that for me?” 

 

seongwu looks like he wants to argue, doubt brimming in his eyes, but he nods finally, a tiny smile on his lips. it’s small, but it’s genuine. he sighs, “okay.” seongwu squeezes daniel’s hand once, heaving a long breath as if preparing for the journey ahead. he makes an attempt at smiling, but daniel can see right through him this time. 

 

is he nervous? is it anxiety? 

 

seongwu is nearly shaking. the hand that daniel isn’t holding trembles in his lap, and he’s curling into a little ball, as if he’s trying to make himself smaller. daniel wants to look at his face, but seongwu has his head lowered, eyes downcast. 

 

daniel’s heart clenches as he listens to seongwu’s breaths growing shaky. 

 

he touches his cheek, touch gentle, “hyung?”

 

seongwu startles at his voice, eyes wide. “what? oh. i—i i’m sorry.” he closes his eyes, breathing slowly. he sucks on his bottom lip, “can you give me a second?” 

 

daniel bites his lip in concern, holding onto seongwu’s hand a little tighter. “we don’t have to do this tonight, seongwu hyung. it’s late. i should leave so you can get some rest.” daniel moves to stand, but seongwu tugs him back by the hand. 

 

seongwu shakes his head, “no, no. i just. i’m sorry. i’m not ready to—to say it out loud.” he worries at his lip, frustration clear on the wrinkle between his brows and the exhausted look in his eyes. “i will. i want you to know, i do, i just. not tonight. not yet.” seongwu pleads, shoulders still hunched over and daniel wants nothing more than to just hold him in his arms. 

 

so that’s exactly what he does. 

 

daniel tugs on seongwu’s hand, and he brings the smaller close to his chest, snaking his arms around seongwu’s waist and holding him in his embrace. the position is kind of odd, with seongwu half sat on daniel’s lap and daniel’s foot tucked under seongwu’s weight at an odd angle, but it’s comfortable enough. 

 

seongwu tenses, and for a second daniel fears he’s overstepped a boundary, or  _ all _ of them, but then seongwu melts into his hold, looping his arms around the younger’s neck. seongwu lets out a shaky breath, “thank you, daniel.” 

 

the blonde grins. he can feel seongwu’s heart beating against his chest, and he grins to himself when he notices seongwu’s rapid heart rate slowing down. that means seongwu is comfortable with him, doesn’t it? that he’s comfortable in daniel’s arms? 

 

daniel hums, adjusting them into a more comfortable position, and he rubs the small of seongwu’s back soothingly. “you’re welcome.” he continues after a moment, pouting at the thought of seongwu having to leave his arms, “but i really should leave—”

 

seongwu cuts him off. “you don’t have to.” 

 

daniel short-circuits, spluttering, “i—huh?” 

 

the older laughs, and the sound is  _ so close _ to his ear; it doesn’t help that seongwu’s breath fans over the sensitive skin of daniel’s neck too. a shiver runs down daniel’s spine, and he nearly curses. there’s no way seongwu didn’t feel that; not with how they’re glued to each other.   

 

seongwu draws back to grin at daniel, and he looks so smug. the brat knows exactly what effect he has on daniel, and he absolutely revels in it. 

 

daniel ignores him, and he holds him close again. they simply sit like that for a moment, seongwu’s hands still looped behind daniel’s neck and daniel’s own hands holding seongwu’s hips. 

 

it takes them a second to acknowledge the suggestive picture they’re painting, but when it registers, it’s almost like a bucket of cold water being poured over their heads. their cheeks immediately color bright red and they suddenly find interest in anything other than each other.

 

though oddly enough, neither of them think to move.

 

“what i mean to say is that uh…“ seongwu starts, the tip of his ears becoming red. “you don’t have to leave?” 

 

a slow smirk tugs at daniel’s lips. “you want me to stay the night?” 

 

seongwu’s eyes widen, and he covers his chest with his hands, “kang daniel!”  

 

daniel’s own eyes widen in shock, and he rushes to explain himself, face burning with embarrassment. “i—oh my god, no! seongwu, no! i didn’t mean it like that!” 

 

seongwu bursts into laughter, eyes alight with amusement. he teases, singing like a canary, “if you say so…”

 

the younger whines, “come on, hyung! you made it sound dirty!” 

 

“nope, that was all you.” seongwu snickers, “to be clear, there will be none of that! do you hear me, kang daniel? no touching!”

 

daniel snorts at the irony, “you say that as if you’re not sat nice and pretty on my lap.” 

 

seongwu ignores him. he points an accusing finger at the younger, “keep it rated PG-13! there are children that live next door.”      

 

the blonde nods, saluting, “sir yes sir.” 

 

seongwu snickers, and he salutes back, “please repeat the rules to me.” 

 

daniel shoots the older his most charming smile as he tightens his hold on his hips, thumb tracing circles into the soft skin under his hoodie. “no touching.” 

 

seongwu grins, satisfied, and he drapes himself over daniel again, face nestled into the crook of his neck. seongwu mumbles the word into daniel’s skin, punctuating it with a soft kiss onto his collarbone, “precisely.” 

 

+

 

**_minhyun_ **

can we talk tomorrow morning

 

**_daniel_ **

yeah of course

 

+

 

daniel already has a grin on his lips even before seongwu opens his eyes. the idol wasn’t much of an early bird himself—was it a side effect of sleeping so late at night? early in the morning?—but he doesn’t have the time of day to sleep in either. daniel doesn’t get much sleep at all, really, and though it’s probably concerning and not healthy, he’s okay with it. 

 

it’s just how it is. 

 

he decides it’s a good thing though, that he goes to bed late and wakes up early. daniel’s eyes sting a bit and he has to fight back a yawn, but as he listens to seongwu’s steady breathing, the exhaustion leaves him, and in its place is just serenity. it floods him with this odd, fuzzy warmth to know that he’s the last thing seongwu sees at night and the first thing he sees in the morning.

 

it’s pride, maybe.

 

sunlight streams through the slits of seongwu’s curtains, and seongwu’s bed is warm, and his room smells of his cologne and natural scent. the sheets rustle under seongwu’s sluggish movements, and a second later, a bird’s nest of black hair pops out from under a mountain of pillows. 

 

daniel’s heart slows, and it beats loudly in his ears.

 

it’s perfect. everything in this moment is perfect. 

 

he wonders if he’s still dreaming. 

 

a grin takes over daniel’s face the moment he locks eyes with seongwu. the brunette’s eyes are droopy and still clouded over with sleep, lips pursed as he looks around his own room in a daze. 

 

daniel can’t help but coo, impossibly fond as he watches seongwu’s eyes fall closed again, the smaller appearing to want to slip back into a deep sleep again. he pokes seongwu’s side, voice cheery, “good morning.” 

 

seongwu startles, nearly jumping a foot off the bed with a yelp. far more alert now, seongwu groans. the idol snickers as seongwu throws the blanket back over his head and rolls to the edge of the bed. daniel just almost misses seongwu’s quiet mumble of, “good morning to you too, spidey.” in his laughter.

 

daniel hums and he hops off of seongwu’s bed. his heart mourns the loss of warmth, and it begs him to slip under the covers again, but he knows he can’t. the managers would have his head on a stake if he wasn’t back in time for practice, and he doesn’t even want to know what would happen if they found out he was at seongwu’s place. he scratches his ear, apologetic, “i wanted to have breakfast with you, but i gotta bounce.” 

 

“you’re leaving already?” seongwu sits up at that, lips turned down into a slight pout. he blinks blearily, searching for his phone under the pillows, “what time is it?”

 

“i haven’t even left yet, and you’re already starting to miss me?” daniel teases, smile smug despite how giddy he actually is. he doesn’t want to admit it, but his heart flutters in his chest at seongwu’s cute pout, adoration dragging his body to seongwu like a magnet. 

 

he makes his way around the bed, cooing as he cradles seongwu’s face with his hands, thumb tracing the moles dotting his cheek. “i want to stay with you for a little while longer, but i really can’t.” 

 

seongwu leans into his touch, peering up at daniel through his eyelashes, and daniel almost melts at the sight. he wonders if it’s even legal for seongwu to look this ethereal so early in the morning. seongwu covers daniel’s hand with his own, squeezing it softly, and daniel wants nothing more than to just stay like this forever, but he decides the sooner he can get this serious talk with minhyun over with, the sooner he can come back to seongwu. 

 

he sighs, “it’s almost nine. i have to go before minhyun hyung beats me up.” 

 

the blonde doesn’t notice it at first, and hell, he probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all if he weren’t so damn attentive when it comes to seongwu, but at minhyun’s name, seongwu tenses. it’s a tiny difference, miniscule, and daniel almost doubts his eyes, but it’s there, and it’s real. seongwu’s pupils widen a fraction and his jaw tightens. daniel would’ve missed the slight movement had he not felt it against his palm. 

 

it’s then that something clicks in daniel’s mind, mind lurching as the pieces start to come together. 

  
  


that’s right, he thinks. 

 

he had to leave because he had questions about seongwu and minhyun. he had to leave because minhyun was going to fill in the blanks. 

 

daniel blinks.

 

what is it, though? 

 

what’s so complicated about their relationship that minhyun couldn’t just spit it out through text? 

 

he looks at seongwu again who stares at him expectantly.

 

why did seongwu react like that when he mentioned minhyun? 

 

daniel drops his hands, planting a kiss on the crown of seongwu’s head and shooting him a quick smile, “i should go now.” 

 

seongwu returns the smile easily, but something flickers in his eyes. the strange glint vanishes too suddenly for daniel to interpret, but it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. seongwu nods, “okay, let me walk you out.” 

 

+

 

the bitter taste in daniel’s mouth lasts long after he’s left seongwu’s apartment complex, lingering in his mouth and turning his mood sour, even more so when he hops off the elevator to see minhyun already waiting outside of the door to the 11th floor dorm.

 

daniel shuffles over despite the dread pooling in his stomach, greeting the older with a small grin, “good morning.”

 

minhyun grunts, “morning.” 

 

minhyun’s posture is stiff and his features are pinched into a concerning look of discomfort, but daniel chooses not to mention it. he opens the door and waves for the older to come inside. he leads minhyun to his room and minhyun follows silently. 

 

though daniel and minhyun have a pretty close relationship, they’ve never really had a serious talk before. their friendship was built upon a similar dream and love for performing on stage, not midnight heart-to-hearts and the like. daniel senses that today will fall under the heart-to-heart category, and he doesn’t know what to do with that information. 

 

the entire situation is awfully uncomfortable, and daniel can feel his own palms growing slick with sweat. daniel hops onto his bed and nods for minhyun to make himself comfortable (as comfortable as he can be, given the heavy air around them), eyes focused on the older’s face as he settles into daniel’s gaming chair. 

 

daniel doesn’t really know why he feels obligated to make minhyun feel at ease, but he does. minhyun looks like he’s going to have a meltdown any second now, really, it’s a little unnerving, and daniel contemplates the pros and cons of dropping the conversation altogether and postponing it to another day. 

 

shaking his head, he decides it’s ideal to get it—whatever “it” means—over with. 

 

daniel is the first to break the silence, clearing his throat as he hugs a plushie to his chest. he scratches the back of his head, “so… uh… do you know seongwu hyung?” daniel shakes his head—obviously minhyun knows him. he watches minhyun’s face carefully as he proposes the question in a different way, “i mean do you  _ know _ him?”     

 

minhyun looks at him with this steely, resolute look in his eyes, and daniel tightens his hold on his plushie. he doesn’t know why he’s holding his breath, but he does, half of him hoping that minhyun says no, and the other half begging minhyun to just spit it out. 

 

minhyun nods, and daniel ignores the sinking feeling in his chest. 

 

“yes. i know seongwu.” he smiles, “i know him very well.” 

 

it shouldn’t be a big deal. it’s a small world, and it’s not uncommon for celebrities to know each other. but there’s something about minhyun’s tone that makes daniel feel like there’s more to it; more to  _ how _ minhyun and seongwu know each other, and that unnerves him.

 

“i figured that much.” daniel offers a smile, and it’s more sheepish than anything, but it’s something. “how do you know him? old friends?”

 

minhyun’s lips twitch the slightest into a tiny smirk at “old friends”, eyes flickering with this odd glimmer of amusement. 

 

“yeah.” he nods, “something like that. old friends. we were friends at one point.” 

 

_ at one point.  _

 

daniel shifts in discomfort, scratching his ear. the sinking feeling comes back in full force, and he winces, “at one point?” 

 

minhyun chuckles, but it lacks the warmth it usually has. “yeah. we were good friends.” he looks away from daniel for a moment, picking at his fingers. “things were good back then. simpler.” 

 

minhyun scoffs, and he leans back in his chair. he’s got this look in his eyes and this nostalgic smile on his lips like he’s reminiscing the past. he sighs, “but our friendship didn’t last too long.” 

 

daniel thinks that minhyun and seongwu’s friendship should have lasted a long time. from what he knows, they have complementary personalities and similar likes and dislikes. he can’t imagine that they changed that much from then and now; minhyun’s words confuse him, and he finds himself wanting to know more; to know everything. 

 

his brows draw together, “why not?”   

 

minhyun rubs his eyes. “i should start from the beginning, shouldn’t i?” 

 

“i met choi minki through jonghyun in 2012.” minhyun begins, and daniel nods along, recognizing the name. minki was another skater and seongwu’s best friend, but daniel doesn’t understand how he fits into it. “minki joined our friend group, and you know how it works, right? once you befriend someone, their friends become your friends. and with minki came seongwu.” 

 

minhyun smiles, and he looks at the clock behind daniel with this far off look in his eyes. “things were good back then. we made our debut, and our song did well. minki and seongwu were rising too. we were young and living our dreams. what could go wrong?” 

 

a bitter smile tugs at minhyun’s lips. “so many things. so many things could go wrong.  _ did _ go wrong.”   

 

dread wraps itself tight around daniel, snaking around his neck and squeezing. 

 

he almost doesn’t want to ask, but he has to. “what happened?” 

 

minhyun breathes a long sigh and he rubs his eyes again, looking far more exhausted than he did just minutes ago. sometimes daniel forgets that minhyun was  _ someone _ before produce 101; before wanna one. sometimes daniel forgets the years that minhyun has been in the industry, but it’s during moments like this, when daniel looks at minhyun and he sees that tired, jaded look in his eyes, that he remembers.

 

“we forgot how dangerous love could be.” 

 

daniel’s heart drops to the pit of his stomach and his mind short-circuits. 

 

he stares at minhyun with wide eyes, mouth gone dry, and the only thing he can choke out is a high pitched “huh?” 

 

minhyun stares back at him with a lost, dumbfounded look on his face as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on daniel. “what?” 

 

_ love? _

 

“you...” daniel starts, words choppy and dripping in shock. he lifts a weak finger and points at minhyun, “you and seongwu... did you? were you? did you love him? did he love you? oh my god—were you two  _ in love _ ?” 

 

minhyun’s eyes widen into saucers, and he parts his lips in shock. he shakes his head no, waving his hands frantically as he makes a face of disbelief. “oh my god, no!  _ no. _ that’s—me and seongwu? no.” 

 

at minhyun’s reaction, daniel deflates, heaving a long sigh of relief. 

 

laughing, minhyun crosses his arms into a big X. “no. god no. i would never.  _ we _ would  _ never _ . me and seongwu  _ in love _ ?” minhyun snorts, “just no.”    

 

the relief doesn’t stay for long though. daniel hugs the plushie closer to him as a wave of anxiety courses through him, and he wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. “if that isn’t it, then what happened? what do you mean by love?” 

 

minhyun sighs, and daniel watches as he rubs at his eyes again; that same jaded look makes its way back onto minhyun’s face. 

 

daniel decides he much rather prefers it when minhyun is laughing. 

 

the air that lays itself onto daniel’s room is tense; almost suffocating as it weighs down on the both of them. daniel isn’t entirely sure why, a gut feeling maybe, but something inside him tells him that it would be ideal for minhyun to speak and for him to listen.

 

minhyun’s voice is quiet, and though it’s just barely above a whisper, daniel thinks he can hear the pain and regret lacing each and every word falling from minhyun’s lips, “i never loved seongwu in that way, and he never loved me like that either.” 

 

he continues, “it wasn’t me.” minhyun looks at daniel in the eye now, and daniel’s heart stops. “it was dongho. seongwu loved dongho.”

  
  


daniel  _ almost _ panics, but he stops himself before he can spiral, blocking out any and all thoughts and possible bad endings. he trusts seongwu. seongwu wouldn’t lead him on if he were still in love with dongho. seongwu is a good guy, and he wouldn’t hurt daniel like that. 

 

and it’s past tense.  _ loved _ , not loves. 

 

it’s fine.

 

this is fine. 

 

still, all things considered, daniel has to ask, “but… you and dongho hyung… how did you? if seongwu was in love with him?”

 

as if he had been expecting that question from the start, minhyun chuckles. “me and dongho are together now, yes. but it’s a long time coming. i loved him long before i even knew what love actually was.”

 

daniel nods, smiling at the thought, and minhyun takes it as a go signal. “we were friends for a long time. a really, really long time. from the moment we met as trainees to the day we stood on stage and made our debut. we were friends when seongwu came into the picture. just friends.” 

 

minhyun shifts in his chair, bringing his knees up to his chest. the position makes him look vulnerable, and daniel wonders if he should, like, hug him. minhyun braves on, “at that time, i didn’t really know i could see dongho as anything other than a friend that i liked to be around. i didn’t know until seongwu told me that he liked him.” 

 

daniel winces.

 

minhyun breathes out a dry chuckle as if laughing at himself. “it was like he poured a bucket of cold water over my head. i just got this awful, hollow feeling in my chest.” minhyun pats his heart softly as if the memories were playing in his head, and his body was only following along. 

 

“and it stayed. that feeling. it stayed long after that. it stayed with me the entire time. from the moment he told me he liked dongho, to when he asked dongho out on a date, to when he confessed his feelings. it stayed and it dug a hole inside me when dongho told me he thought he liked seongwu too.” minhyun breathes out a long, shaky sigh. he closes his eyes, composing himself. when he opens them though, they shine with tears. “i wanted to be happy and giddy with seongwu. i wanted to congratulate dongho for finally finding himself a nice guy but i just—i couldn’t? and i didn’t understand  _ why _ i felt that way. i didn’t understand why i couldn’t laugh along or smile. i didn’t understand why my heart  _ hurt _ so much.”

 

“but one day, i finally understood.” minhyun nods, more to himself than to daniel. he scoffs, shaking his head, “i finally understood  _ why _ . after all those years, i finally understood why being with dongho made me so happy.” 

 

minhyun smiles, and it’s genuine, but as heartbreaking as the stray tears that threaten to flow down his cheeks. “i loved him. i loved him so much. i loved him then and i love him now.”

 

daniel grins at that, touched, but his smile vanishes immediately upon minhyun’s confession. 

 

“and i also understood something else.” minhyun’s voice is a mere mumble, words laced with regret and weighed down by unspoken apologies. “i understood that to protect my heart, i had to break seongwu’s.” 

 

minhyun’s tears finally fall, but daniel can’t find it in himself to comfort him. “and that’s what i did.” 

 

his words echo in daniel’s ears, and he clenches his fists.

 

minhyun shoots him a sad smile, as if to say  _ i know, i know.  _

 

“they dated for around six months, and every single day of those six months, i was in agony. seeing them together and hearing them talk about one another was like a slap to the face. there’s that one saying, you know? the whole ‘as long as you’re happy, i’m happy too’?”

 

daniel nods.

 

minhyun laughs, but the sound is suffocating. it holds daniel by the throat and squeezes. “it’s total bullshit. dongho and seongwu were happy together, but the longer their relationship lasted, the more hollow i felt.”

 

“do you know what it’s like to feel dead inside, niel?” minhyun asks softly, tears staining the porcelain of his cheeks. daniel nods. he does. “i felt like i was dying. i felt empty. being with dongho hurt me so much, so  _ why _ —why did i still want to be with him so bad?” 

 

minhyun wipes his tears, a wry smile on his lips. “it’s cause i loved—i  _ love _ him so much. i love him more than i’ve ever loved anything. i loved him enough to risk everything.”

 

at minhyun’s words, daniel gets this horrible, chilling feeling down his spine; this big, crashing wave of dread that washes over him and holds him captive. he doesn’t mean to say it so quietly, but it’s like his body won’t allow him to speak above a hushed whisper. daniel is scared of the truth; scared of the implications behind it; scared of how it may alter the idea he had of minhyun in his head—though if anything, this conversation has already made him question minhyun’s character. but he has to know. 

 

he closes his eyes, breathing in a shallow breath. “what did you do?”

 

when daniel looks up again, minhyun is shaking his head, hot tears staining his cheeks again, and he pleads with his eyes, “please don’t make me say it, niel.”

 

but daniel doesn’t back down, far past the point of mercy or patience. “hyung,” he begs, “ _ what did you do? _ ” 

 

minhyun takes a shaky breath.

 

four words. 

 

four short, pathetic words choked out through tears.

 

“i told the company.” 

 

four words are enough to destroy a relationship.

 

four words are enough to create distance between two souls. 

 

four words are enough to turn friend into foe. 

 

_ i told the company.  _

 

minhyun closes his eyes, and he turns his face away, sniffling and muffling his sobs against the back of his hand. 

 

daniel doesn’t feel even an ounce of pity. 

 

“i told the company about them.” minhyun chokes out, “i didn’t want to, niel. really.  but i was stupid and selfish, and i thought that that was the only thing i  _ could _ do. i regretted it immediately after the words left my mouth. i have  _ never _ hated myself more than in that moment.” 

 

minhyun’s lips rise into a dead smile. “i don’t know what i was thinking. did i think that it would solve all my problems? did i think that we would come out of it without a single scratch? i don’t know, but i was wrong.”

 

“it wasn’t even an hour later when the management team stormed into our dormitory; me behind them. it was bad timing. seongwu was there. minki too. aron hyung invited them over for a late dinner.” 

 

“the others didn’t really know what was happening, but seongwu knew something was wrong the moment he noticed us.” minhyun chuckles, and it’s a breathy sound, void of emotion. minhyun digs his nails into his knees, clenching and unclenching his hands. he smiles, “he’s smart, you know? he had one look at my face, and he connected the dots before our manager could say dongho’s name.” 

 

minhyun leans his head back on the chair, burning holes into the ceiling. he shakes his head, “the look in his eyes… i don’t think i will forget it til the day i die. hurt, confusion, betrayal. it didn’t happen the way i wanted it to, but i think right then and there,” minhyun murmurs, “i broke his heart.”

 

and there is this ache in daniel’s chest, an intense, but almost imaginary, pain that grows as minhyun continues to tell his tale, and daniel wonders if minhyun has broken his heart too. 

 

“our manager took dongho and seongwu to the CEO’s office. i don’t know what was said or who did what, but it was final. their relationship was over. just like that.” 

 

“when dongho came back to the dorm, seongwu wasn’t with him.” minhyun turns back to face him, eyes void of emotion. “dongho wouldn’t even look at me.” minhyun scoffs, “this wasn’t what i wanted. it turned out so differently than how i imagined. really, i don’t think i considered the consequences.” 

 

minhyun takes a shaky breath, “it took almost a month for dongho to figure it out. to figure out why i did it. he didn’t ask me to explain myself because he  _ knew _ . he knew i loved him. he knew why i did what i did. i think he understood.” 

 

just above a murmur, minhyun says one last thing, but it sticks to the back of daniel’s mind like gum. “seongwu has refused to see me since then, but i know he understands too.” 

 

daniel eyes minhyun in silence for a long time, not yet trusting himself enough to hold a civil conversation. he’s not exactly the most outright with his emotions, but he’s also not one to hide his anger. he’s just seconds from lashing out at minhyun in a fit of rage, but he bites his tongue, deciding against it. he doesn’t want to say something he’d regret. daniel clenches his fist, jaw tightening as he replays minhyun’s words in his head. 

 

_ it didn’t happen the way i wanted it to, but i think right then and there, i broke his heart. _

 

_ he understands. _

 

minhyun fidgets, giving daniel time to process what he’s said, but if anything, minhyun’s guilty silence only makes daniel angrier. 

 

minhyun looks him in the eye then, pleading, “please say something.” 

 

“what do you want me to say, hyung? that _i_ _understand_?” daniel grits his teeth, spitting out his next words with finality, “because _i don’t_.” 

 

the blonde continues when minhyun stays mum, “i don’t understand why you would ever do something so… so  _ cruel _ . i don’t understand how you could be selfish enough to  _ think _ of doing something like that.”

 

“i told you, didn’t i? i forgot how dangerous love could be.” minhyun’s lips rise into a tiny, sad smile, “love made me forget what is important to me;  _ who _ is important to me. but love makes me who i am. i’m selfish, and i’m cruel, and i _ know _ that.” 

 

minhyun breathes out a shaky sigh. he looks daniel in the eye, stubborn until the end. “i regret what i did. truly. but i don’t—i will  _ never _ regret loving dongho.”    

 

it’s kind of sick and ugly, but daniel thinks he might understand that. he’s not sure how long it will take, but he thinks that one day, he might understand why minhyun did what he did. he might understand love and its highs and lows. 

 

he takes a long, hard look at minhyun; he looks at the regret and pain in his eyes and the sad downturn of his lips, and he knows that minhyun is still minhyun. 

 

minhyun is kind and warm. 

 

what he did years ago does not change that; it does not change the fact that he is daniel’s friend. minhyun has always been patient with him, so it’s time he returns the favor, yeah?  

 

daniel decides that the truth isn’t scary, it’s what people do with the truth that is. 

 

“okay. i don’t think i understand right in this moment, but i think, maybe, some day i will.” he shoots minhyun a tiny, comforting grin. 

 

he unclenches his fists, and he moves to sit at the edge of his bed. “i kind of think i should punch you in the face or something to avenge seongwu, but maybe we should hug it out instead?” 

 

minhyun snorts, but he smiles, shining with relief and gratitude, and he is just as kind and warm as he has always been. he stands, and he holds his arms out, “i kind of like that idea.” 

 

+

 

**_spidey_ **

do you want to get some ice cream?

 

**_seongwu_ **

do you even have to ask

 

+

 

seongwu doesn’t know what’s going on, really, he’s a little bad at the whole psychoanalysis and reading into body language thing, but he’s good at going with his gut feeling, and his gut feeling says that something is wrong. 

 

not  _ wrong _ , but wrong.

 

daniel hasn’t exactly been acting different; still just as bright and lively and willing to talk seongwu’s ear off, but there’s something about him that is different. there’s this little look in his eye that says  _ something _ —unfortunately, seongwu isn’t any good at the whole “the eyes are the window to the soul” mind reading thing either.

 

seongwu gives daniel a once over, eyes closing in on him as he shovels spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth. seongwu points at him, finger inches from his nose, “okay, that’s it. tell me.” 

 

the blonde startles, eyes widening a fraction in surprise, and he almost chokes on his ice cream. he coughs, “what?” 

 

snorting at the sight, seongwu cracks a fond smile, but he cools his expression into one of suspicion before daniel can think he’s off the hook. he crosses his arms over his chest, “i know something is up, so just spare me the extra anxiety and spit it out.” seongwu tacks on a tiny “please.” and a friendly smile as an afterthought.

 

seongwu watches on as daniel tenses, eyes darting from seongwu’s face to his bowl of ice cream. 

 

something is definitely wrong. 

 

daniel is the absolute worst at hiding his feelings, but he’s worse at lying, and seongwu can practically see the waves of panic rolling off of him, mind racing as he worries at his lip. 

 

reaching across the table, seongwu takes a hold of daniel’s hand, and he cradles it in his own, thumb tracing lazy circles into the back of his palm. he shoots daniel what he hopes is a comforting smile. “it’s alright, niel. you don’t have to say it if you aren’t comfortable. 

 

he grins, “last night you were willing to wait for me, and i can wait for you too.” 

 

seongwu had hoped to put the younger at ease, but if anything, he’s only sent daniel into another spiral of doom. daniel looks infinitely more uneasy than before, stoic face replaced by drawn eyebrows and wet, downcast eyes. 

 

“that’s the thing though, hyung. i’m so sorry.” daniel looks at him now, and he just looks so  _ upset _ , to the point that seongwu begins to wonder if maybe  _ he _ should be the one apologizing. the idol slips from his hold, hand dropping into his lap as he shrinks in on himself, “i said i would wait for you. i said i would let you do things at your own pace, on your own time, but i didn’t.” 

 

seongwu’s heart drops. 

 

he knows what’s coming next. 

 

he’s always had a way of knowing when it comes to things like this. 

 

with daniel being in the same fucking group as minhyun, and with daniel being friends with dongho, it was only a matter of time before the truth came out.

 

_ i told you so, choi minki.  _

 

still, seongwu wants— _ needs _ to hear it from daniel. 

 

he takes a sharp intake of breath, bracing himself for the inevitable, and he looks daniel in the eye, “what do you mean?” 

 

daniel breathes out a shaky sigh. 

 

“i know everything.”

 

he doesn’t have to say more. 

 

seongwu knows all there is to know.

 

with those three words alone, seongwu’s world comes crashing down.

 

okay, seongwu admits, that’s a little bit theatrical, but still. 

 

seongwu’s hands close into tight fists, nails digging crescent moons into his skin. he welcomes the pain; he welcomes anything other than the big, ugly feeling of betrayal pooling in his stomach. 

 

“oh.” 

 

daniel works to follow his eyes, pleading as he apologizes. “i’m so sorry, seongwu hyung.” 

 

“for what?” seongwu breathes out a long, exhausted sigh, forcing his hands to lay flat on his thighs, “what do you have to be sorry for, daniel?” 

 

“for everything.” daniel’s eyes shine with guilt, and he almost looks like a kicked puppy; ashamed and lost, and seongwu would be damned if he allowed daniel to beat himself up over something like this. “for betraying your trust.”

 

seongwu laughs.

 

he’s bitter, yes, but not at daniel. 

 

he did nothing wrong, and seongwu can’t fault him for wanting to know the truth.  

 

seongwu shrugs, unclenching his fists and folding them on the table, “it’s alright. i forgive you.” he snorts when the blonde immediately sits up, eyes big and unbelieving. “so please stop with the sad puppy dog eye. it makes me feel like i should be the one apologizing.” 

 

daniel stares at him in stunned silence.

 

seongwu waits for his words to sink in, occupying himself with his ice cream and shoveling spoonfuls into his mouth before it melts.

 

“you?” daniel says finally, waving his hands around in shock, “you  _ forgive _ me? just like that?” 

 

seongwu nods, “just like that.” 

 

“b-but  _ why _ ?” daniel asks, face scrunched up in confusion. he clearly doesn’t understand why seongwu is being so easy going, but seongwu really doesn’t think he has a reason to be mad. 

 

seongwu shrugs, pushing his share of ice cream away as he leans back onto the booth. “i’m tired of being bitter. it’s draining to be bitter all the time.” he explains simply, “that happened years ago. we were young and naïve. we had bad judgement. i was hurt. i was betrayed. i mean,  _ yeah _ , sometimes when i think about minhyun, i kind of want to punch a wall, but so what?” 

 

the idol scratches his ear. 

 

“okay, listen.” seongwu snorts and continues, “what i’m trying to say is that  _ then _ , i was  _ really _ mad. mad at dongho.  _ really _ mad at minhyun. mad at myself. mad at the world. and then i was really sad. and i mean  _ really sad _ . i think at some point, i just got tired.”

 

“it’s exhausting, you know? to have so many ugly emotions. i wanted to be free. i thought that if i poured all my anger and pain into skating, things would get easier.” seongwu smiles, eyes set on daniel but not really looking at him. “i thought that after i made it to the olympics; after i skated in front of the world; after i won gold, i’d be happy. i thought that  _ finally _ it would all be worth it.” 

 

“but it didn’t turn out that way. it’s actually kind of lonely at the top. you’d know that, wouldn’t you?” daniel immediately nods, sad pout on his lips, and seongwu grins. he hopes that daniel feels a little less lonely with him. “one day i decided i wanted to leave korea. i wanted to go to japan.” 

 

daniel cracks a smile, light coming back into his eyes, “and you did.”

 

seongwu nods, “i did. i left korea without looking back, and the moment i landed in japan, i just got this feeling, you know? i thought ‘hey, things are going to change for me’, and i was right.” seongwu’s heart is light as he recounts his time in japan, grin soft around the edges. if he can, he’d like to take daniel with him some day. he thinks daniel would like it. “after being lost for so long, i found myself again.” 

 

“it was a fresh start. a clean slate. i got to know myself again; things i liked, things i hated, what i liked to do, what i didn’t like to do. it was like making a friend? in a way? but it was just me.” 

 

seongwu can feel daniel’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t bother to look at the younger, instead looking out the window and watching the sun sink below the horizon. 

 

“it was good for me. the anger and frustration left. i was calm and content. for the first time in so long, i was happy.” seongwu muses out loud, a smile dancing on the lines of his lips, and he finally locks eyes with daniel, heart both racing and calming at the familiar sight of the younger’s charming smile. “i  _ am _ happy. i’m happy to be back home.”

 

seongwu cocks his head to the side, thinking, and he finally decides that yes, he is happy. 

 

“i’m happy to have met you, kang daniel.” he murmurs, “i’m happy when i’m with you.” 

 

and daniel, kang daniel in all of his bright and beautiful glory, absolutely  _ beams _ . “is that so?”

 

daniel had pushed his way into seongwu’s heart whether he liked it or not, and he sure doesn’t appear very keen on leaving soon—and seongwu doesn’t think he wants him to leave either. 

 

seongwu grins. 

 

“yeah.” 

 

and he means it. truly. 

 

propping his elbows up on the table and cradling his face in his hands, daniel grins at seongwu. seongwu has never been much of a mind reader, but the younger’s eyes shine with so much adoration and warmth, and seongwu’s heart fills with warmth because he knows that it’s for him. 

 

the blonde cuts right to the chase, voice leaking in excitement and a hint of amusement. “that sounds a lot like a confession.” 

 

seongwu forces the blush inching up his face to stay at bay. he clears his throat, blinking innocently and feigning innocence.  _ two can play this game, spidey. _ “really? i meant it in a platonic way though?” 

 

daniel’s face immediately falls, and seongwu almost feels bad.

 

“oh.” 

 

at the dejected look on daniel’s face, seongwu bursts into laughter, impossibly fond. “dear god, you’re going to be the death of me.” 

 

“huh?” he grunts, and he looks at seongwu in confusion, “what did i do?” 

 

seongwu scoffs, “for one, you’re unbelievably dense.” he continues, “maybe blind.” 

 

at that, daniel opens his mouth to argue, but seongwu is quicker, and he tugs the blonde in by his jacket and captures his parted lips in a sweet kiss. 

 

his lips taste like ice cream, is what seongwu thinks first. 

 

he has really nice lips, is what seongwu thinks next. 

 

i could get used to this, is what seongwu thinks last.

 

seongwu breaks the kiss first, meaning to say what’s on his mind, but daniel recovers quickly from the initial shock, and he holds seongwu close for another fairytale kiss, one hand cradling his face and the other finding its way to lace with seongwu’s other hand. 

 

they stay like that for a moment, lips locked and foreheads touching, simply indulging in the taste of each other’s lips.

 

when seongwu’s eyes flutter open, daniel is already looking at him; warm brown eyes filled with so much love, pretty lips parted. 

 

despite the edge of the table digging into seongwu’s stomach, he can’t focus on anything other than daniel. 

 

they’re so close; breathing the same air; seongwu thinks he can even hear daniel’s heart racing over the loud sound of his own rapid heartbeat. 

 

“i like you.” 

 

seongwu almost doesn’t register daniel’s words. 

 

“i like you so much, ong seongwu.” 

 

seongwu freezes. 

 

and then he grins.

 

“that’s not fair.” seongwu twists his mouth into a petulant pout, “i was going to say it first.” 

 

daniel laughs, loud and free, and it’s music to seongwu’s ears. seongwu laughs along. he adores all of it. daniel’s laugh, daniel’s smile, daniel’s voice,  _ daniel _ ,  _ daniel _ ,  _ daniel. _

 

“i want to hear you say it.” daniel guides seongwu by the hand around the table and into his side of the booth. he holds seongwu’s hands in his, eyes bright, “come on, say it.” 

 

seongwu takes a long breath, and he can feel his lips rising into a smile, but he doesn’t stop them. “i like you, kang daniel.” 

 

the grin that plays on daniel’s lips is bright enough to rival the sun, and seongwu decides that he’d confess a million times if it meant he’d get to see that smile again. 

 

(dear god, when did he become so lovesick?)

 

daniel takes him by surprise and plants another quick kiss on his lips, startling him, but by no means is seongwu complaining. 

 

seongwu laughs, tone teasing when he warns him, “what did i say about no touching?” 

 

“that can’t stop me because i’m suddenly deaf.” daniel sings, sticking out his tongue childishly and leaning in for another kiss, lips puckered, “kiss me please.” 

 

seongwu rolls his eyes, but he can’t possibly deny the blonde of anything (he refuses to admit he wants another kiss too). 

 

he sighs and presses a soft kiss on daniel’s lips, lingering for just a second before parting. “happy?” 

 

daniel shrugs though his face is smug, lips tilted into a smirk. “very.” 

 

seongwu thinks he’s an idiot. 

 

and daniel smiles then, suddenly shy, and he traces circles onto seongwu’s hand, “though i’ll be much happier once i can say you’re my boyfriend.”

 

_ boyfriend _ .

 

seongwu’s heart stutters in his chest, slamming to a stand still, but he remains indifferent outwardly, smirk tilting his lips. “that sounds a lot like a question, but i don’t really understand. could you be more clear?” 

 

the blonde groans, but the corners of his lips rise, and seongwu thinks that he already knows what he’ll say. 

 

daniel looks seongwu in the eye, whole and sincere, and he pops the question simply, 

 

“will you be my boyfriend?” 

 

seongwu grins. 

 

he’s happy.

 

“yes.”

 

+

 

**EPILOGUE.**

 

_ seongwu has added  _ **_spidey_ ** _ ,  _ **_minki_ ** _ , _ **_minhyun_ ** _ , and _ **_dongho_ ** _ to the chat. _

 

**_seongwu_ **

so

 

double date?

 

and minki

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you had a goooood time reading:B plz press the kudos button and comment if you're feeling particularly nice!!!! i love you! i hope you're having a good day hehe thanks 4 reading ♥


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